Doughnut madness

You know when someone says, "I'd never have thought I'd experience something like this!" and you're there like, "Hehehe..." secretly wishing you knew what it feels like?

Well, I can be a 100% honest when I say I would NEVER have thought I'd buy a doughnut with a penis on it. One magical day it happened, though. See for yourself.

I would hereby like to thank the staff of Morrisons bakery for making my day.

long time no modnar

it's a good modnar. not one of those bad ones. no no no.

Cave lesson: UGG UGG!

Oh why Hello there you modnarful personopolos!

Today, I am caveman.
I talk like I not know what English is.
What is this English you speak of, I not know what you say!?
iCaveman want to introduce uCaveman to the modnarful world of caveman.
iCaveman and my fellow cavebitch Eliise enjoy long walks on the rocks, listening to ROCK(and roll), and going to rocking place like eSTONEia and STONEstead.
Today iCaveman want to teach uCaveamateur a cavelesson.
Get your rock, paper, scissors out...

Now, cave-moral-lesson-thing:

Number 1.
If uCaveman can make sense of what you saying, you probably not making good caveman.

Number 2.
If uCaveman feel necessity to use big words... use big words! But make sure no other caveman know big words or uCaveman is in asshat situation.

And finally,
Number 3.
The key to perfect cavegodliness is: Think modnaR... or suffer the repercussions of sanity!
Here are 2 examples:

a) gnitirw sdrawkcab si a yllaer taerg yaw ot sserpmi eht sdikevac,

b) Impress people by cramming together a ridiculousopolos combination of languages you don't reallllyyy understand into one conversation whilst pretending you know exactly what you're saying:

Here are a few to get started with:
Spanish
Greek
modnaR
eSTONEian
Akrikaans

What you want to say:
"Hello my beautiful mother dearest. I would really love it if you could please feed my cat! Cheers!"

What you're going to say:
"Hola poli orea mama cita! Se agapo, tub esaelp... pimpi mu kassi! Baie danki!!"

What you've ACTUALLY just said:
"Hello very beautiful breast appointment! I love you, but please... pimp my cat! Thank you!!"

Stick to these rules, and you will make make the lovely cavebitches go boom boom for you, kookookachoo!
Failing that, buy some Cologne: Sex Panther by Odeon. I heard that 60% of the time, it works every time.
;)

Keep on Cavechillin'!
Rocks of ugg, (cavemodnar for lots of love)

Mrs Sfatopolos.

Modnar being everywhere

I do believe many of you often wonder whether modnar is only in your head or if it is actually THERE. Well, here's some barely scientific evidence for all of you out there.

Firstly, take a look at these pictures.

What I saw:

THINK MODNAR.

τον τίτλο αυτό είναι γραμμένο στα ελληνικά

όλα αυτά είναι τυχαία κείμενο γραμμένο στα ελληνικά. δεν υπάρχει καμία απολύτως στο σημείο χρησιμοποιώντας έναν μεταφραστή να μεταφράσει αυτό το κείμενο σε οποιαδήποτε άλλη γλώσσα, ειδικά επειδή το κείμενο αυτό έχει κανένα απολύτως νόημα και είναι στα ελληνικά, πράγμα που σημαίνει δεν χρειάζεται να γνωρίζουν τι είναι γραμμένο σε εδώ ούτως ή άλλως. είστε κώλο καπέλο, από το δρόμο.

Siht si Esiile dna I ma a naf fo doog sgniht ekil eht tac, gniruoloc dna maerc-eci.

I would also love to say that I am a complete ridiculousopolous. Surely you have absolutelyopolous NO idea what I'm talking about. Surely you don't even know who I am. Surely you keep reading this because you can't stop anymore because SURELY I am the best writer in the worldopolous.

Also I would like to mention that the vast majority of Greek names end with 'opolous'. Indeedopolous.

Also I am going to reveal the results for our amazing poll.

Do you like this blog?

Yes! - 0 votes (Now this I don't understand. Doesn't ANYONE like it?! What's wrong with you, people...)
I LOVE IT!!! - 0 votes (Well then. Now I'm just disappointed. Very, very disappointed.)
Sey - 1 vote (Jemma, I already knew you liked it!)
69 - 1 vote (WHAT??? Who the hell voted for THAT?! I mean, I do like it and all, but... this wasn't what I was asking for this time!)
Would you like to sit on my asslap, my child? - 1 vote (You are a truly weird person. Welcome to the world of Modnar which, by the road, makes my world go round.)

Who created this poll anyway? He must have been a complete retard.

Okay, I'm off to thinking of a new wonderful idea for a poll.

Ecaep tuo.

Amazing Animal Alphabet Game

Once again, boredom has got the better of me and because modnaR was screaming out my name, I figured I ought to stop ignoring it. Besides, would you ignore a screaming child?
Really?
Even if it was upside down and chewing the WRONG end of a pencil?! :O
Oh.
Well, so would I actually, but that's besides the point...


So before I go and bore myself with more work, I am going to play the 'Amazing Animal Alphabet Game'!!
Try it...
Don't use the internet...
It's not as easy as it looks!
Unless you're slightly more educated than myself...
(likely)

Oh, and one last thing... When you get to the letter 'U', 'unicorn' does NOT count!
:P

Now...

5...

4...

3...

2...

1...

0...

-1...

-2...


GO!!
(haha you thought I was going to go all the way to -5! ...SUCKER!)


A - Armadillo
B - Bear
C - Cat
D - Dolphin
E - Elephant
F - Fuck the Frog
G - Gorilla
H - Horse
I - Iguana
J - Jaguar
K - Kangaroo
L - Llama
M - Mouse
N - Nando's (Well, it WAS an animal)
O - octopus
P - Penguin
Q - Quail
R - Reindeer (My sister thinks these do not exist... "Reindeer? There's no such thing as reindeer! Aren't they to do with Santa?!" BAHAHA!)
S - Slug
T - Turtle
U - Urial
V - Vulture
W - Whale
X - Xanthareel
Y - Yak
Z -Zorse



I'll pay you 100 modnaRian dollars If you can beat that! :D

Read, have a laugh, take a shit

I ma tsuj gniog ot ypoc ruo tsrif (dna tsom ylbaborp ton eht tsal) PAR ELTTAB.

It all started like this...


Jem Dear Scrat
You're an Asshat
I'm writing a poem
What 'ya think of that?
The wall of LOVE ain't the wall of dove
so shut the f***k up and pet a cat 0_o

Yours sin(cereal)ly,
Kellogs cornflakes :)

Eliise Dear Genna
I do not give a hell'a
About your Mud damn poem
Which btw sucks like a..er...jeroboam
Yeah..that's right
My rhyming skills are tight
And your momma's got horses
Maybe that's why you should consider going into special forces
So SHUT THE DUCK UP
Or piss in the cup!

Doors faithfully
Scra(ssha)t

Jem Deaest Scrat
What the f**k was that?
Yo' mommas so fat cause she ate a cat
She ate a cat cause your dads nuts were to small
My dads nuts are so huge their're like soccer balls
My rhyming is getting dodgy and -pauses-

Why the hella a jeroboam!? Isn't that like a measurement of wine...?

-resumes-

I have delayed reactions
My words are hot like fractions
Maths is SO my forte
Like lying and backwards croquet!

oh, and actually a carrer in the special forces might not be so bad :)

lots of dove (because you smell).
Mrs Sfat(ass) :)

Eliise Beer Mrs Sfat
I actually AM a cat
So keep the cats out of da house
Or I'll cut your blouse into a mouse
Yo' rhyming is so ship it makes me quiver
But I don't give a ship, I just shiver
At least mine's got a wine bottle in it,
Yours sucks my dogs balls, innit
I'm not so sure if we'll get a career in rapping industry
But still - who the hell gives a ship about pastry???
I don't even know what a forte is
Might be because my name's Elise
Or maybe because I skipped some lessons
..With every day I feel more that my brain lessens...

Cocks of Dove
xzy

Jem Holy mother of ducking unicorns
That rap was so good it was like watching porn
I joke, I joke. I kid, I kid.
That rap was so crap I nearly ran to Madrid!
Now a lesson today- you will never forget,
Will be stuck in your mind like a silhouette,
Or a sexy-ass Scrat on a TV set!
The meaing of Forte, you ducking chavette!
-takes out textbooks-
It means a speciality,
Like playing piano and making tea.
Spelling clearly ain't your forte though
You didn't spell anything back-to-fro'
Now Im so cool I'ma call you a dik
and you're such a fool you wont know what it means
Now I'm'a shut up and do some work
and procrastinate till I go bizerk!

Doves with cocks,

xyzpdq
which actually means: zip your zipper pretty darn quick... Or at least thats what my friend..uh I mean homie told me when I was a kid... :/

Eliise Yumma yumma yo
Your toe infection is a ho
Shut your mushroom
And listen to my boom-boom
How can xyzpdq be what you just said
I think you're retarded by your head
Cause 'zip' begins with a 'z' not an 'x'
So get your 'x' and put it in sex
Your poems are worse than the mushrooms in your pants
(And I only know it cause I just had a glance)

Doors faithfully
SCRAT YO

Jem yumma yumma yo
Yo MOMMA is a ho!
bish bash bosh
this rhyme is slosh
tick tack tock
the time's on the clock
meh mah moh
I cant rhyme any more... :/
zzzzzzzzzz

Eliise You see, you're an idioot
Cause you're definitely not hot
Look at your rhymes
They're exactly like mine
So you steal
Like a pig in a cartwheel
Which means I win
ELIISEVILLAGE FOR TEH WIN!!!!!

Jem Jemmaland FTW because I don't promite violence like Eliisevillage!
AND YOU stole words out of my rhyme too! It's the nature of the industry scratass!
you gotta learn to deal with it
or take a dump on a ship
and hope it don't sink
cause you're WELL full of it!
*UGH*

besides... this all started of as an innocent POEM...
YOU'RE the one who escilated the situation and turned it into a rap battle!!
-shakes head-

Eliise What the... Then why the hell did you rap it eh? does this sound like a poem...

Dear Scrat
You're an Asshat
I'm writing a poem
What 'ya think of that?
The wall of LOVE ain't the wall of dove
so shut the f***k up and pet a cat 0_o

...?? NO, it doesn't. so hah. i put the blah in da gah. and yo nigga ass is doomed, boom boom.

Jem Scrat you ARE an asshat!!!

I think if you read my text it would help...
Lets see shall we?

How about the line where it says: "I'M writing a POEM"
I wonder what that could mean :/
wow... tough shit trying to decode that!
Stupid unripe nigga otherwise known as a white kid.
I put the milk in the cereal, splash splash...
SLASH!

Eliise OI!!! don't try to fool me... every nigga could see you were tricking me... but i ain't a fool and i new the storm was coming. so in your face, i'm ace and you're my shoe lace, yo, that's the case, i'm gonna have to pack my suitcase.

Jem Yo, unripe nigga!
whats a shoe without a lace?
I'm what MAKES you ace!
so shut the f**k up
move your sfatass butt
and go jogging... around a lake!

So, now that you've all read this historically of grandeur importance chronicles about our first (and most probably not the last) RAP BATTLE, you can agree that the RAP MUSIC INDUSTRY won.

And yes, my Facepoop profile picture is of THE Thoughtful Gorillaface.

Ecaep oy,
Esiile

Mrs Sfat's Gnitseretni Modnar Words

Boredom is taking over and on account of this terrible disease (which on occasion can actually become entertaining), I am going to write down a few of the weird and wonderful words that I know!
Starting....

...not yet...
...or yet...
...nope...
...

Why don't you go make a cup of tea?

...
......
.......
.........
.......
......
...

Wait... come back! I'm starting in a second!

Asshat!
...

NOW!

Mrs Sfat's Collection of unusual (and pretty useless) words:

Llama : What happens to your alarm when it goes off too early in the morning and you 'accidentally' knock it off your bedside table...

Flip flop - Does what it says... Anyone who can walk in one of these without flipping, flopping , tripping or hopping, deserves a medal!

Alpaca - 'I'll packa' your bags? (Must be an Italian bag packer!)

Lamp - Always reminds me of the sound of someone walking into something solid... but I think that's just because I often wonder into lamp-posts. It also reminds me of Lambs... Have you ever seen a lamb walk into a lamp? Nor have I, but I know what you'll be thinking next time you see one... ;) Baaaah!

Catamaran - Cat on a meringue? A sticky, noisy mess which, to be honest, I am glad does not exist in the real world... That I know of...

Hibiscus - "Hi, Biscuits!" or "High biscuits" Ever seen a talking or flying biscuit? They look pretty much JUST like a hibiscus really, just slightly less colourful.

Banana -'Baaah. Nana' A sheep granny... that is yellow of course...



Well, that's all for now... I have entertained myself to the point of modnaR daolrevO!!

Who IS Mrs Sfat?

Oh, you could not have made a sexier niotcudortni, yxeS-alliroG-ecaF-esiilE!
Yes, it is I, the fantastically modnarful Mrs Sfat!!
I am already suffering from writers block... how on earthy... Eliise! You have found a cure for my over-writeititis!! Oh no wait, sorry, false alarm...
So... should I explain my name to our crowd of invisible fans?

"Enn ouu"
"No? Who said no?"
"Eye . Dee eye dee!"
"Oh... Humm, well, does anybody else object?
-silence-
"Well then that's two against one! Me, and that crazy person in my head who keeps singing Britney Spears's 'Oops I did it again', and quite out of tune too might I add..."
"Who God?"
"Duh. Who else?!"



So...
Ever watched that sexy squirrel in Ice age, you know, Scrat?
Honestly, who hasn't?!!
Yeah, well Scrat and Eliise go WAYY back (like, even before the Iceage...). So Eliise introduced me to the Sexy Scrat who was a rude asshat to me, but I was still drawn to his crazy good looks. Eventually I asked Scrat if he had a brother and it turned out he did... Sfat (the slightly weightier of the two brothers)! Well, Sfat was the sexiest thing I had EVER seen, so I asked him to marry me and the rest was history... or is history... or something like this ...


So, now that's sorted, I can go and 'turn on my bed' :)
Modnar REALLY does elur ym dlrow!





Pimped word of the day:

*Drum roll please!*
No idioot... That's a sausage roll!
Argh, never mind...

Kid!
Which is now...
Dik!

modnaR person 1: "Hey, do you wanna come over this weekend?"
modnaR person 2: "No, sorry! I'm looking after someones dik!"

Noitcudortni

Olleh. Siht si Esiile, aka... Mmmh... I t'nod neve wonk... Srm Tafs, pleh em! M'i LOOC!

For all of you people here who don't understand a heck of what I'm saying, I'm just trying to make an introduction here, alright? So, this is the first (and probably the last) modnaR blog in the universe (except the Mars modnaR blog, that shit was crazy, man...) and this is where me and Mrs Sfat will try to entertain ourselves and perhaps someone else, as well... I doubt it, though... PS - If you have NO idea at ALL what the hell are we on about, then -

welcome to modnaR!